Ben and Ilana: Sharing the Journey

January 27, 2016

Ilana: So we’re talking about sharing the journey in L’Arche Portland.
Ben: Yeah
I: Have you lived in L’Arche for a long time or a short time?
B: More
I: More years- for a long time?
B: Yep.
I: Would you say It’s generally been a good experience, or a hard one?
B: Good.
I: Good?
B: Yeah
I:What’s been good about it?
B: I go away home.
I: You went away from home and came here?
B: Yeah.
I: Are you saying that coming here from home was a good place to go?
B: Yeah.
I: Would you say that you’ve met a lot of people since you came here?
B: Yeah.
I: How many people do you think you’ve met?
B: (smiles, looks up to sky) Oh God. I don’t know (laughs)
I: (laughs) too many to count?
B: Yeah
I: What would you say the people you’ve met are like? What words would you use to describe them?
B: Good.
I: Good people?
B: Yeah.
I: any other words come to mind?
B: No
I: they’re just good people.
B: Yep.
I: I’m glad! Do you think you learn a lot about people when you live with them?
B: Yeah
I: Do you get to see a lot of their lives?
B: Yes.
I: Can you think of people in L’Arche Portland that mean a lot to you? Who are some of those people that you’ve met through L’Arche?
B: Hard to say. (leans forward)
I: Are you thinking of a specific name of a person?
B: Yeah. Mark.
I: Mark? He means a lot to you?
B: Yeah.  I don’t know where Mark is. Far Away.
I: He moved far away?
B: Yeah
I: But you met him through L’Arche and he means a lot to you?
B: Yeah.
I: Can you think of anyone else?
B: I don’t know.
I: Can I say some names of people that I’ve heard you talk about?
B: Yeah.
I: Aaron Kinyon?
B: Yeah. Far Away.
I: He lives far away?
B: (sighs) Yeah.
I: What about Ben Luginbuhl?
B: Yeah.
I: What do you like to do with Ben?
B: I call up.
I: You call him up? What do you ask him?
B: Please over here.
I: You ask him to come over here? Or to go over to his house?
B: Yeah. Eat.
I: You like to eat food with him? Good food or disgusting food?
B: Yeah. (smiles) good food.
I: Do you laugh a lot when you’re with him?
B: Yeah.
I: what about Jerry Deas? What would you say about him?
B: good. Eat. Big Cup.
I: you go get a cup with him? At the restaurant you like with him? Is it cheesecake factory?
B: Yeah. Two. See? 
I: Yeah. Nice. What do you talk about with him?
B: I don’t know. (smiles)
I: A lot of stuff?
B: Yeah.
I: Do you feel like you know Ben and Jerry well?
B: Yes.
I: Do they know you? Know who you are and what you’re all about?
B: Yes.
I: How does that make you feel to be known by them?
B: good. Happy.
I: Yeah. Do you feel loved by them?
B: Yes.
I: What do you do when you see Jerry? I’ve seen this with my own eyes.
B: (leans forward, smiles) I love you.
I: You tell him that you love him?
B: Yeah.
I: and what else?
B: (smiles) Big Big
I: Big big hug, right? (laughs)
B: (smiles) yes.
I: What about when you live in the same house with people? Do you learn a lot about them?
B: Yeah.
I: What do you learn?
B:  I don’t know.
I: Let’s pick a person- who do you live with right now?
B: (leans forward, smiles, gives “the look,” nods head)
I: (laughs) me? Yes, that’s true.
B: (points with foot) Yes, You! God, (laughs) yeah!
I: What are some things you’ve learned about me since I moved in?
B: Help me walk bathroom.
I: I help you in the bathroom?
B: Yeah.
I: what are some other things about me that you know about? What do I do a lot of?
B: Nose.
I: (laughs)I sneeze a lot? How many times in a row do I usually sneeze?
B: (smiles) Three.
I: Yep, we get a good laugh out of that. What other things have you learned about me? Am I right or left handed? Same as you or different?
B: Same. Woah.
I: Right handed. Woah.
I: Do you know when I’m happy or sad?
B: Yeah.
I: What do you say when I’m having a hard day?
B: Sorry. I help you more.
I: Yeah, you offer to help me more?
B: Yeah. Okay?
I: (smiles) yeah. What about Rodney? You’ve lived with him for almost 20 years!
B: (smiles, looks up) Oh boy, yeah.
I: What does Rodney like to do?
B: Bed. Paint.
I: He likes to go to bed at night? And paint at the table?
B: Yeah.
I: What does Rodney like to eat?
B: Burger.
I: that’s right! Especially lately. What about Robyn? What does she like to do?
B: (smiles, rolls eyes) digging.
I: That’s true. And who does Robyn and Cindy love?
B: Moki.
I: (smiles) Do you love Moki as much as they do?
B: No. More more.
I: Do you know what they like to watch on TV?
B: Yeah.
I: So I know that in L’Arche people come and go a lot, don’t they?
B: Yeah.
I: We have a lot of visitors, sometimes people move out, and new people move in. what do you think about that?
B: I don’t know.
I: Is that hard or easy for you?
B: Hard. No see people.
I: You don’t see the people that leave as much as you used to? That makes you sad?
B: Yeah.
I: What do you think about the new people that come?
B: Happy.
I: Why does it make you happy?
B: New people. Walk outside.
I: More people to go on walks with, and do things with? More people to share life with? That makes you happy?
B: Yeah.
I: So you kind of feel happy and sad at the same time?
B: (sighs) yes.
I: Yeah. Do you have hopes for the future? Things you’d like to do in community?
B: (leans forward) out eat more.
I: You want to go out to eat more often?
B: Yeah.
I: What do you like about going out to eat?
B: One One.
I: You like going out to eat one on one? Can you say more about that?
B: No busy busy. Work more people. Busy busy. No one one.
I: People are busy at work? No one-to-one time at work?
B: Yeah! I say “ Hey! Wait a minute! Me please! Why walk away!?” Oh, bull. (smiles)
I: Yeah that can get frustrating! But when you’re one-on-one with people you have their attention?
B: Yeah. Good.
I: Feels good?
B: Yeah. Happy inside. No walk away.
I: I’m glad. Is there anything else you want to say about what it’s like to share the journey in L’Arche?
B: No. (reaches out to shake Ilana’s hand.)
I: (shakes hand) I’m glad that you’re my friend, Ben.
B: You too. (smiles)