L'Arche Portland strives to create a place to call home for people with developmental disabilities and those who share life with them.

An Overview

Rule #1: No Scarcity - THE SOUL of the Rules.

It is the core principle that serves as both the starting point and the fruit of cooperative living.

I want a cooperative relationship with you. I will act in this relationship on the assumption that there will be enough of what we really need to solve our problems, support each others deepest needs, and participate in the building of God’s empowering life between us.

I agree to act on the belief that the most important things in our life together will be most available to us when we cooperate, and that cooperating is the best way to work together.

Rule #2: Equal Rights/Equal Responsibility - THE BACKBONE of the Rules.

I will act towards you respecting that your feelings, thoughts, needs and wants are equal to mine in worth and importance.  I will assume that you have an equal right to express your feelings and seek after what you want in this relationship.  I assume that we have equal responsibility to attend to one another’s concerns and will support the other as each of us seeks after our goals.

I want to clearly understand and agree upon the differing roles and responsibilities we each may have in the relationship and act respectfully and cooperatively in light of our agreements.

Rule #3: No Secrets - THE HEART of the Rules.

I commit to share with you my feelings, my wants, and my appreciations for you around those issues relevant to our relationship.

Key to this agreement is recognizing that it is safe to work on our relationship and share with one another our wants, blocks, and appreciations.

In living a “No Secrets” relationship with you I commit to:

•Ask for my 100% (my desire or hopes for any given situation)

•Share any blocks  (fears and resentments)

•Express my appreciations and share any “brags”

Rule #4: No Rescues

Rescuing is one of two ways that we veer off of the cooperative path.

I value our relationship more than I value accomplishing tasks.  I will not act in the relationship in ways which generate resentment towards you.  I will not do for you anything that I feel resentful about.

I assume that you will do what you say.  If you cannot or do not want to follow through on something you agreed to, I allow you to take responsibility to ask for help or a change.  I will not “take over” your responsibilities without talking with you.   If I have a concern that you are not going to do what you agreed to, I will agree to bring up this concern as a fear or resentment directly with you.

Rules #5: No Power Plays

Power plays are another way we veer off of the cooperative path.

I will seek to get what I want from you in this relationship only by clearly and directly asking for it. I will not use power plays (such as shouting, sulking, claiming special privilege).  I will ask for what I want in a straightforward and clear manner and I will act on the assumption that you will do the same.

I value my own and your ability to cooperate and I honor any agreements we have made.

The Rules of Cooperation are a dynamic process rather than rules to follow.

They evolve, develop and stretch as do we in relationships.

We commit to the rules.  We then test and experiment with them and share what we learn.

From experience, we know they offer a sound base for healthy relationships.